This blog is me feeling sorry for myself and if you don’t want to read, I completely understand, but I need to get it out.
Why is it that the most strong, independent women have their low days? I am a 28 year old woman and sometimes I still feel like that little fat 8 year old that just can’t keep up with the rest of the kids. Granted, being called “Chunk” never helped, but even now, that nagging feeling stays with me. I see some of my co-workers and think, God, why can’t I have her body? Do I know if they have medical issues? No. Do I know if they work out? No. Do I know if they are on diets? Yes – they are not on diets, they have kids and they still have that perfect petite little body that just chaps my ass.
I am in the new lifestyle process of eating better and exercising, but I have to say that this is hard work. Here comes my 10 second b*tch session…but bare with me. How do people do this and enjoy it? I am walking my arse off and quite frankly, my body hurts. My body is saying “Hey, what is going on here, where is our lazy, self indulgent, loves to sit on her arse Sarah and who the hell are you that has replaced her?” Granted, I am not trying to make excuses for myself, but having fibromyalgia, heart problems and thyroid disease has me at a slight disadvantage. I am feeling this walking in my hip joints, in my back, in my knees, in my ankles. My bones crack like I am 80 years old and although I KNOW that this will help me in the long run, this whole process hurts and it is not easy.
Why is it that the most strong, independent women have their low days? I am a 28 year old woman and sometimes I still feel like that little fat 8 year old that just can’t keep up with the rest of the kids. Granted, being called “Chunk” never helped, but even now, that nagging feeling stays with me. I see some of my co-workers and think, God, why can’t I have her body? Do I know if they have medical issues? No. Do I know if they work out? No. Do I know if they are on diets? Yes – they are not on diets, they have kids and they still have that perfect petite little body that just chaps my ass.
I am in the new lifestyle process of eating better and exercising, but I have to say that this is hard work. Here comes my 10 second b*tch session…but bare with me. How do people do this and enjoy it? I am walking my arse off and quite frankly, my body hurts. My body is saying “Hey, what is going on here, where is our lazy, self indulgent, loves to sit on her arse Sarah and who the hell are you that has replaced her?” Granted, I am not trying to make excuses for myself, but having fibromyalgia, heart problems and thyroid disease has me at a slight disadvantage. I am feeling this walking in my hip joints, in my back, in my knees, in my ankles. My bones crack like I am 80 years old and although I KNOW that this will help me in the long run, this whole process hurts and it is not easy.
I am going to continue on my diet and exercise, but today I woke up after having to take an anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxor (god bless the makers of Flexiril) last night, just feeling like my body was jelly. I jumped on the scale and luckily, I lost another 1.5 pounds because lord knows that if I wasn’t losing the weight, I would say forget this… but then I walked up the stairs to my office and felt all of the hard work that I have been doing. Damn I am feeling old. I guess I had this idea in my head that 28 year olds are supposed to be so full of energy and all bouncy, la la la la and I am just not. It makes me think, what is wrong with me, why can’t I be like them. I know I have my good days and bad, I guess today is just a bad day….
1 comment:
I noticed you haven't posted anything in a couple of weeks. Hope all is well.
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